Random Christmas Thoughts

If you're looking for a coherent theme limited to one subject, you may want to skip this post.  However, if you don't mind the random thoughts of an ADHD case who is excited about Christmas, please read on.

Christmas Music Questions/Comments

Was that Michael Buble who remade "All I Want for Christmas Is You?"  Michael, if that was you, much respect, but I bet even the great Bing Crosby couldn't have made it sound good.  What makes you think you could do any better?

About "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year," love the song, but aside from "A Christmas Carol," what scary ghost stories are there at Christmas?

If "It's a Marshmallow World in the Winter" is a Christmas song, it's a little early to be worrying, "What if spring is late?"  Winter just started four days before Christmas.  Anxious much?

Dan Forrest is a genius!  Anyone who can make "The First Noel" sound good deserves that title in my book.

We need a new wave of crooner Christmas hits.  Most of the Christmas songs written in my lifetime really leave a lot to be desired, while Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, Andy Williams, Dean Martin and a host of others before my time could do no wrong in that arena.  You think the aforementioned song made infamous by Mariah Carey even comes close to those guys?

When the dog bites, when the bee stings, get proper medical attention.  Simply remembering your favorite things will not prevent rabies or anaphylactic shock.

Cultural Comments

If it's okay for us to shop on Thanksgiving, and I just found out McDonald's will be open Christmas Day (I'm not buying a McRib this year for that - even Scrooge wasn't that bad), how far away are we from retailers having Christmas hours?  "Forgot that one last gift?  Feel like getting yourself a gift after someone forgot you?  Come on down to Wal-Mart for our Peace on Earth tramplefest!  Open 10-4 on Christmas Day."  You stores that pulling that, don't even bother worrying about saying, "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays," because that's not what Christmas is about, and it won't even be a holiday at that point. 

South Plainfield, NJ residents really know how to decorate for Christmas!  So many tastefully done houses in the neighborhood.  Not overdone.  Simple, but elegant.  I think I need to ask the neighbors for tips next year because I don't have that skill.

Theological Thoughts

Christ's first bed was a manger, a feeding trough.  A foreshadowing of the Eucharist, perhaps?

As a parent, I am so excited to see the reactions of my loved ones when they see the gifts I gave them.  Did our Heavenly Father feel that way in anticipation of Mary and Joseph seeing the first Christmas Gift ever, Baby Jesus?

Did the road to Calvary begin when the road to Bethlehem ended?

One Last Funny Thought

David won't believe in Santa Claus for long if he doesn't start sleeping through the night.

Thanks for listening to my random Christmas thoughts.  Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!  God Bless!

Yes, Virginia, There Is a War on Christmas, et al

Well, several years have passed since the fear of having the word "Christmas" appear in stores reached its peak.  Stores that had specified other holidays, but left out Christmas, have ceased this silly practice.  Generally, I find most stores I go to feature employees using whatever greeting they prefer (Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holidays) and shoppers usually responding in kind.

I'm not Jewish, but I have no objection to my Jewish friends wishing me a Happy Hanukkah during these remaining days of their joyous festival of lights.  Being wished Happy Holidays does nothing to take away from my upcoming celebration of one of the Church's holy days.  My Christmas joy is something I cannot help but wish upon others, even of non-Christian faiths or no faith at all.  Though I must say, "Season's Greetings" seems a bit overly generic.  It's almost like telling your wife, "General Affectionate Expressions," on your anniversary.  Happy Holidays at least implies a specifically positive greeting.  I could greet someone with an insult, and it would still be a greeting.  Thankfully, I know of no one who actually says that, the phrase generally being relegated to tags and store signs.

Yet there are insidious forces attacking this period of peace.  Yes, there most certainly is a war on Christmas, and one on Hanukkah, and on everyone who, each in his own way, wants to celebrate the holidays in peace.  It is born of greed and worldly anxieties.  It eats away at the beautiful celebrations of many cultures, leaving them a mere shell or illusion of what they were.  Furthermore, it has existed since long before retailers asked the paranoid question, "What greeting should we use?"  If anything, that question was a mere symptom of the true war.

Before the Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays skirmish, there was the tradition of the Black Friday Battle.  The day after Thanksgiving, armies lined up outside the stores to battle for supremacy in getting the best deals.  Door busters, they called them.  Getting a good deal on something is not itself a bad thing, but an instrument that could be used for good or evil.  Unfortunately, it has been used for evil.  Gradually, the battles grew earlier and earlier, until the peaceful holiday of Thanksgiving was also attacked.  The armies have marched in and occupied a portion of that peaceful territory, attempting to destroy it as well.  Now, while people feel safe saying "Christmas" again, people wish each other a "Happy Holiday" before Thanksgiving.  What a brilliant deception.  Leave the name Christmas safe, but take away the spirit of giving thanks for what we have.  With that gone, it will be easy for people to trample each other to death, pull knives on each other, even kill pregnant women, and completely contradict the spirit of Christmas to get the best deals - all in the name of Christmas!  But those who did not celebrate Christmas were by no means safe from this invasion.

Years ago, my Mom, God rest her soul, spoke to me about a religious talk show she had seen where a priest and a rabbi (no I'm not launching into a joke) both had some serious words for their congregants.  I wish I could remember the name of the show.  The rabbi mentioned how many Jewish families had elevated Hanukkah, which is a beautiful celebration, to a higher level of importance than it deserved in relation to other days in the Jewish calendar.  The priest replied Christians should be ashamed, as they too elevated Christmas to a higher level of importance than Easter and Pentecost, which was not where it belonged.  What's worse is the reason for elevating those days, presents, has resulted in those celebrations losing their meaning.  We Christians stumbled upon a major paradox, destroying ourselves, then turning on other cultures to destroy them.

Don't get me wrong.  I love giving gifts, and giving out of a spirit of love is wonderful.  In its proper context, the giving of gifts to our loved ones can be a wonderful reflection of the greatest, most undeserved Christmas gift ever, God sending His only Son to humanity.  We didn't earn that.  We weren't on the good list when that happened.  As a matter of fact, humanity had certainly earned a spot on the naughty list.  On a side note, that's why I'm not a fan of the whole idea of earning presents from Santa by being good.  That's not a gift; that's a reward.  Save that for other times.  Even in the song, "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town," we're not told to be good to get a huge haul of presents, but rather, be good for goodness' sake.  Since we can do no good of our own, how do we gain goodness?  We can learn that from another song, "Here Comes Santa Claus," when we're told that peace on earth will come to all if we just follow the light.  That sounds like good advice to me.  Merry Christmas!

The Many Sides of Ben

When I first began my personal blog, first off, I had intended to write much more often.  I had also intended to include posts from all areas of my life I consider important - God, family, music, food, politics (probably in that order of importance) - in one blog.  I later realized there are some among family and friends who wish to avoid the political stuff, and might not have an interest in reading my blog at all if I were to lump it all together.

While I disagree with that stance, knowing that politicians of all parties and at all levels won't avoid doing things that affect you just because you wish to avoid them, I tried to think of a way to respect those who don't wish to be inundated with the politics and see what's on my mind in other areas.  As far as the religious aspect, which others have also mentioned wanting to avoid, I can't take God out of any aspect of my life, as He gave it all to me.  My political beliefs stem simply from the belief that no person has the right to violate the God given rights of another.  Not the President, the Congress, the Courts, your state or local officials or your neighbor.  My family is a great gift, bit God is the Giver Who blessed me with them.  Music and food are tremendous gifts that sustain the body, but it is God Who sustains my soul.  So there will be religious talk in my "compartmentalized" blogs, but I plan to have multiple ones under my Google Blogger account, and will introduce them here as I create them.

This leads me to the first introduction.  Those who know my political leanings know I yearn for a massively decentralized government compared to what I have now.  I am also a contributing blogger for the New Jersey and national chapters of the Tenth Amendment Center.  There are, however, some issues they don't quite cover on their site, which I feel still merit discussion through the lens of state and local solutions.  And so, it is with great pleasure that I introduce my political blog, Ben Tenther, soon to be filled with political postings galore.

What Am I Worth?

One of the easiest things for a man to doubt, forget or simply not believe at all sometimes is his own worth.  In today's popular culture, the role of men and particularly husbands and fathers is either obscured (Moms and Dads are interchangeable), minimized (who needs men at all?) or reduced to useful idiot. Whether in sitcoms or commercials, Dad is the one we pity for his lack of a clue.

One example was an editorial I read last week in the New Jersey Star-Ledger.  It wound up being the subject of a scathing e-mail to the Editor on my part.  The editorial spoke of two mishaps involving Dads...or I should say one involving a Dad and the other involving a babysitter's boyfriend.  The author, left nameless by the paper, went on to imply that all Dads are like that, leaving Moms rolling their eyes at us helpless, brainless y-chromosome burdened individuals, and then told us Dads we should be grateful we even have a day and accept the funky gifts with grace.

My letter to the Editor, not published on the website as far as I can tell, asked if we should base our opinions of Moms on the actions of such gems as the mother who killed her four kids a couple weeks ago in Florida, firing 18 times, at least once at point blank range, and finally turning the gun upon herself.  Another response on the website brought up the "tanning mom" as an example.

That said, there are times when we husbands and Dads doubt our worth, especially if we fall outside the positive stereotypes of what a Dad should be - strong, good providers, etc.  Yeah, I'm definitely outside the norm.  I'm the primary care provider during the day, employed part-time at night.  I'm responsible for the laundry, cooking, cleaning, diaper changing and other things the TV would tell you never, EVER to let Dad do.  And guess what?  I'm not half bad at it.

Still, I often dream of being the big income earner and maybe adding about 3-4 inches to my arm circumference.  Hauling freight nights has maybe put me a quarter inch closer to the latter goal, and Lord knows I have enough business start up ideas I'd have to fail miserably and quickly to run out of attempts to make at the former.  Not having the start up funds or the organizational skills also hinders me as far as getting started, but that's probably its own post.

I was talking to my loving wife Judy about some of these doubts the other night, and she shared with me the economic value of all the things I do.  I'm not just a guy who stays home idly.  In terms of professional classifications, I have been at various times a chef, chauffeur, nurse, gardener/landscaper, cleaning man (male equivalent to a maid for lack of a better term), plumber, drill sergeant (trust me) and many other things.  If I had the ability to get hired as all those things, I would definitely be worth well into six figures.  But when one considers all the things we're not spending money on because I'm basically the stay at home parent, there is a great deal of economic value to what I do.

Am I perfect at all those things?  No way.  My wife and kids could all vouch for that and could probably give you (as they have often given me) a laundry list of grievances with how I do the job.  But if I were not doing those things, they would be in a woeful state trying to pick up the slack left behind by my absence.  I may forget these things at times, especially in the face of sometimes ill-informed, rash criticism and cultural biases, but they are true nonetheless.

Judy, thanks for the reminder.  And to myself, let's finish tackling that laundry, shall we?

Introductions

Since this is the first post on my blog, I should start out with a little about who I am and what's important to me, in the event I get readers who don't actually know me personally.

First things first, I am a Catholic man.  All else that is important to me comes from my deeply held beliefs about God and my fellow man.  I love Jesus, and I love Holy Mother Church.  I am horribly imperfect, which is why I need the Church, to keep me accountable.  The Church, whether the clergy or laity, is composed of imperfect people trying to live and understand God's perfect truths as revealed by the Holy Spirit.  The teachings are infallible, but the people and their understanding of it is fallible.  I want to keep learning and living what I learn.

I am a husband and a Dad.  My marriage and all the kids in my blended family mean the world to me.  The family is the foundation of society, ordained by God to reflect His love.  Beyond being where you hang your hat, home is the sovereign domain of the family.  The family is in many ways a religious, economic, political, legal and dare I say even a military unit.  Parents are meant to be the primary educators of their children, with whatever institution they choose (public schools, private schools, homeschooling) being instruments to be used toward that goal.  Children will learn from how they observe their parents living, and will live what they have learned.  The home is a domestic church.  If a strong faith life is not taught in the home, one cannot expect the Sunday homily at Mass and a weekly catechism class to make up for it.  Faith is taught through words, while love is taught by action.  The family has a vested interest in providing for children's needs, while teaching them the skills to provide for themselves and others in need as they grow.  Home is where ideas of structure and rules are first taught.  Once again, if the family fails in that regard, society suffers in the long run, and no government agency can ever adequately substitute for that.  And from the point of view of teaching discipline, toughening kids up to face the outside world (those with older siblings understand that) and sticking up for each other (my dearly departed Mom was the mama grizzly long before anyone ever heard of Sarah Palin), the family has the potential to be the ultimate defense force.

I am a musician.  My degree is in vocal performance, and I also play guitar.  My abilities are used in Church, in my classic rock cover band, Liquid Garden, in composing original music, in teaching lessons and just in good fun.  I hope to have a lot to share in the near future, and I hope you enjoy it.

Those who know me know I am incredibly opinionated when it comes to politics.  And yet, I don't consider myself stubbornly opinionated, as I am always reevaluating my political beliefs.  A few things that have never changed about me - I am uncompromisingly pro-life, support low taxes, and believe in a strong national defense.  A few things that have evolved over time - I am a part of the Tenther movement (contributing blogger for New Jersey and national Tenth Amendment Center), believe our current interventionist policy is actually weakening our defense, and think that the vast majority of good ideas, despite being good ideas, are up to individuals, communities and states to implement.  My combination of socially conservative and libertarian beliefs, often considered incompatible by social conservatives in the Republican Party and Libertarians (note the capital "l" to indicate party involvement), found a home in the Tenther movement.  I enjoy a good debate, and can get pretty passionate at times, and yet I feel I can be friends with people who disagree with me just as passionately.

I consider myself an environmentalist, green and crunchy, but with a private sector twist.  To the greatest extend possible, I reuse, avoid unnecessary chemicals and generally try to conserve.  My wife Judy and I are very interested in gardening.  We will be keeping chickens in the near future.  While government bureaucracies, politicians and celebrities lecture us about carbon footprints, I'm the guy getting honked at in this incredibly liberal blue state of New Jersey for driving the speed limit.  Up until our little ones started developing rashes despite our best attempts to remove residue, we cloth diapered.  We pass down clothes until they are unwearable or need to be donated because they've been outgrown.  We practice the Billings Method of Natural Family Planning - no wrappers to throw away, no hormones being peed into the water supply.

I am trying, albeit with much struggle, to develop and maintain healthy eating habits.  I make sauces and soups (even the stock) from scratch.  Judy and I grind grain to make our own bread.  We'll be growing our own organic produce, hopefully enough to get us most of the way through the winter.  I am interested in herbal medicine, although I am not a licensed practitioner, so I will not be giving any advice.  And I am forever in the quest to find a legitimately good muscle/strength building plan for the hard gainer.

By day I am a stay home Dad, or as I prefer, househusband.  I am NOT a Mr. Mom.  Moms and Dads, while equal in God's eyes and under the law, are not the same.  By night, I work as a freight rep.

While I don't subscribe to the Occupy Movement's hatred of corporations, I worry about a select few squeezing out the competition from small businesses, not necessarily through superior products and pricing, but through cronyism.  I try to find businesses in my area that I like, and hope to share about them as much as possible.  I have a few business ideas I'd like to develop eventually, mainly in the areas of music production and performance, home brewing and candy making.  Judy has a few ideas of her own that, if we ever managed to develop a business plan, could be a great assortment of micro-businesses under one sort of umbrella.

I'd say that's enough of an introduction for now.  If you're reading this, God bless, and thanks for reading!